Snorting candy is most def bad for you : P

Been awhile since my last post. I was definetly in depression mode but now things are really lookin up. After my last post i went to the beach again and I swam with 3 seaturtles it was really cool. Said goodbye to my only female friend here and then that weekend gained a new guy friend. OOOhhhh, man has it been fun hangin out with him and my other friend. I might even post a vid of our fun night tonight on here..maybe. Anyways things are lookin up here. Having two people who know me is way better than a crap load that only know me from my surface traits. Oh and we're thinkin bout makin a film with our class before december. Let you know how things go. TTyl.

" I don't think you could handle me no matter how bad I want you to."

I'm stuck in a never ending cycle

I do this crazy thing where if I'm interested in someone I always think about other girls that are intrested in him too and how they are more suited to him than me. I always refer to them as "Genuine girls". Girls who are the center of attention and who are not afraid to say that they have an intrest in someone. Man I wish I had balls like them. I always clam up and come off as an up-tight bitch. I'm to scared to take a risk and put myself out there. I always get rejected and then I get all these others guys intrested in me that I have no intrest in. I know I sound cold, not giving them a chance at all, but I don't function like that. If I'm not physically attracted to you then there really is no chance. I'm like a guy. I think with my eyes and then my heart follows after. Anyways this is my endless cylce. I get intrested in someone, doubt that they could have an intrest in me too, then I meet a new guy and do it all over again. Someone help me stop this cycle! I don't wanna keep doing this through my 20s.

I had a crazy dream the other night. Crazy but cute. So I was in this rocket ship that looked like a Rubik's cube listening to spice girls and playing uno with this guy I have a crush on. It even had the old school Star trek control panel. I was laughing so hard when I woke up. Eating an insane amount of candy before sleeping is REALLY not a good idea. ^o^

So I wanna back track to my previous post about needing some human contact really bad. I've noticed lately that when I look back at my dreams about crushes I've had I have never dreamed about kissing and etc with them. EVER! The only thing I really do is hang out with them and do a lot of hugging. I dream about kissing celebrities but never real guys. It is so strange. Just felt like blogging about that. I don't know maybe that means I have too much of an affinity towards fantasies rather than connecting with reality.

AAaaahhh well until next time

Any one have some free hugs? ^_^

I was feelin like I was havin withdrawal earlier this week, but now...i can barely handle it. I need some human contact. Some tender lovin cuddle time. I mean i was wanting to cuddle so bad that I was really REALLY lookin forward to my body pillow coming in the mail. pathetic. I have no idea what I'm gonna do. There is no way that I'm gonna have an opportunity anytime soon cuz I'm really lookin like a hot mess scrub. I HATE IT. Gotta try and keep my cool until friday. That's when my magic box of hair goods and beauty comes. THEN I'll be on my game and THEN maybe I can get my much needed cuddle time with a lil cutie. Till then. : )

I'm IN HAWAII

Finally a new place to start fresh and meet new people only problem is that just like my mother said "where ever you go there you are"is definitely the case here. So I already have a sort of crush on this guy in my class and just like always I play the friend card. Aggghhh I moved over 2600 miles away from home but my same bad habits of not putting myself out there and thinking of all the reasons why i shouldn't try are still with me. Well i cant lose hope yet cuz it is still only the first week of school, so I'll post another blog when and if something happens. Good or bad I will write about it. toodles ^o^

Would you want an EPIC LOVE?

So just got done watching this anime series in which these two star-crossed lovers can only be with each other every 12,000 years. I know people wish for that once in a life time kind of love like romeo and Juliet or Superman in Louise lane. But I'm starting to think that kind of love is just crazy impossible to handle. I mean maybe if I had experienced love that moved me to the core of me soul I would feel differently, but I still don't even know then.

sorry i just ended up blabbing. The whole 12,000 thing was just mind boggling to me.

Iz so good to be BACK!

It was amazing. Twilight is cute but Trueblood is just GOT-dang SEXxY!!!