hatsuka demo, ima 18sai kangerukana? I'm 20 but for somereason I feel 18

So right now I'm listening to LATE NIGHT ALUMNI- YOU CAN BE THE ONE at my friend's place and all I can think about is going home and crying. Fuck I'm back in the same damn situation that I'm in every DAMN time! I like someone I get rejected and then these guys that I'm totally not interested in come out of the wood works. Why cant I have my first pick. But I really dont know why im dwelling on it cuz I already know the answer without them saying it. NO. Where ever I go there I am. In this same damn situation. Even after the last two years of rejecting guys and accepting one I didnt really want. nothing has changed.

KNow how people say u need to know who you are before u can be with anyone and all I got to say to them is that I know who I am. I just dont know how to express it to others. Awwww fuck this I'm ready to get the fuck outta here and go to Japan next fall. Rant OVER!!!

sutekina yagata _ wonderful night

So alot and I mean alot has happened since I last blogged. Let's just start off with the bad and move forward to the good stuff. So for the longest I thought this guy I was intrested in was gay cause my gay friend said he was. Never listening to that advice again. I should of stuck to my guns and tried something cause it turned out that in the end he was not and he liked me AND now he has a girlfriend. Lord I'm so mad at myself. Oh and in other bad slash good news, I got a job but it is a total suck fest because half of my bosses like me and the other half don't not. I really wanna quit and not do retail work but right now I really don't have a choice but to stick it out.

So now to the good news. I have a lil ohana ( family in Hawaiian) at school. Luv em! They so nice to me and I learned how to skateboard. No longer will I be a poser if I can actually get some practice in if it ever stops raining. OH Oh but the really really REALLY good news is that me and my friend saw two shooting stars tonight. We both lil romantic hopeful virgins so of course we wished for a sweet someone to share are selves with. In this crazy face paced world that may seem like a far fetched dream, but I have to believe that there is someone out there for me and I don't have to give my body away to every potential guy that I meet. So I'm shouting my SOS into the darkness and I'm hoping that someone hears it. Hopefully.

oh and totally check out the indie movie DAKOTA SKYE!! it is so bitchin!! LOL JK, thats so 90's^___^